Before this quarantine started I had left my job to spend time raising our daughter. I was ready for a period of time where I would have nothing to do except take care of our newborn, clean our home, and visit loved ones. The last bit of my plan was ripped away due to the pandemic. I spend most of my time at home alone since my husband is still going to work; I can't escape the house to see friends or family
This has left me with a lot of time to reflect on things I have been taking for granted. Even the smallest things I enjoyed before are now impossible - like getting out the house for coffee with a friend or bringing our daughter to see her family.
It saddens me that my daughter has family that she still has not met. I feel a deep ache in my heart for my parents who will not get to hold her again until she's at least two and a half months old. I feel a great sense of grief for everyone is who is suffering through this right now, as we are all missing parts of our weeks that once felt routine.
I've spent a lot of time reflecting on what I will be able to enjoy again once this is over, and I have realized how much I have truly taken for granted. I admit that sometimes I am a vain person. I've been late to plenty of events and missed out on time with friends and loved ones because I spent too much time at home getting ready. I've ignored conversations at these outings for my phone. I've gone out in nature and remained too busy taking pictures that I've forgotten to stop and soak in my surroundings.
I'm a firm believer in the phrase "everything happens for a reason". Maybe I'm too much of an optimist, and not enough of a realist, but I do believe that a lot of our struggles in life have brought us to where I needed to be. And maybe this is exactly what all of us need right now. Maybe this happened to awaken us, and to show us what we could do to better our lives once all of this ends.
Right now the outside world feels empty, and time seems to have slowed down. If you have gone out at all during this then you too have felt this emptiness. The roads are quieter and parking lots are empty. The usual hustle and bustle of the outside world has disappeared.
Even those who ARE still working are isolated. Instead of being able to go out after a stressful day at work, they are forced to come home. We are living without the simple comforts we once had - drinks after work, dinner dates with significant others, outings with friends, and travel in general. What we have left to enjoy is what remains inside our homes.
I've started keeping track of things I have to look forward to instead of things I have been missing out on. I could stay home and take pity in the fact that my newborn will probably have passed several milestones before her family sees her again - but this will only allow sadness to grow. Like I said, I like to be optimistic. Having hope is really all any of us have right now.
So imagine your life when this ends, what will it look like? What will you change? I know that I will make family time my number one priority. All this housework I'm forced to do now can wait. I'll take longer, slower walks outside. I'll show our child my favorite places and her to explore, the best she can, each of them. I'll enjoy a meal at all of my favorite restaurants and ask for new recommendations to delve into. Simply put: I will slow down.
I hope you all are staying safe
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